Shave Slowly - Limited TV Series - Episode #08

 


          INT. JET TO VIRGIN ISLANDS - MORNING


          Amy is shown picking up LATTEGIRL, she sleeps over, and they

          get up early and DRESS for a 6 AM FLIGHT out of the

          Milwaukee International Airport. Amy and LatteGirl are in

          their seats in the jet. Amy shows signs of stress, gripping

          the armrests and squeezing LatteGirl's HAND during takeoff.

          During the flight the person in front of her puts his SEAT

          WAY BACK. Soon the plane is seen landing at the St. Thomas

          airport.


                              NARRATOR

                    After everything I'd been through,

                    I still can't believe I'm on a

                    flight to another never-never land

                    where for a few days, anyway, I'll

                    be basking in the bliss of a hot

                    sun and rocking to the rhythmic

                    surf healing my scarred heart with

                    wave after wave of peace and

                    tranquility, hoping to make some

                    new memories...tanning on the

                    beach, sipping Pina Coladas in the

                    shad of a slowly swaying palm tree

                    while staring into the azure abyss

                    of the tranquil turquoise ocean

                    saltwater. I need to feel the joy

                    of simply being alive again, to

                    push aside the burden of being

                    weighed down by  the crush of

                    life's constant tragedies. It's

                    cramped enough in planes these days

                    with the carriers trying to squeeze

                    every dollar out of every flight,

                    but when the schmuck in front of me

                    put his seat way back without a

                    thought for what anyone else might

                    be feeling. Not about to stand for

                    that I shouldered the back of his

                    seat a couple of times but he

                    didn't take the hint. A large man,

                    bald, I overheard him bragging to

                    the blond stranger sitting next to

                    him about his businesses and

                    properties. Coming back from the

                    restroom I couldn't help but notice

                    that she spent more time than

                    necessary when crossing over him,

                    giving him a kind of lap dance

                    straddle on the way to her

                    seat...that little slut! All you

                    gold-diggers out there, toughen up,

                    make your own money, then you won't

                    have to fuck fat bald guys to get

                    by...unless of course he's nice and

                    you want to.


          EXT. ST. THOMAS AIRPORT


          Amy and LatteGirl step OUT of the jet and into the balmy

          tropical paradise of St. Thomas, get into a cab and head to

          their condo negotiating steep hills and winding roads

          complete with roller-coaster heart-stopping sudden dips and

          turns. Arriving at the CONDO they pick up their keys.


                              NARRATOR

                    Heading to our condo the cab driver

                    must have taken the scenic route

                    ringing up over a half hour on the

                    meter, but we didn't mind as we

                    took in all the breathtaking vistas

                    of this tropical paradise.


          INT. AMY'S CONDO - AFTERNOON


          The girls inspect their CONDO and see a private deck with a

          grill, seating area, lounge chairs and a private pool.

          Inside, a dining area, living room, kitchen and bath,

          everything furnished with appointments like ceramic dishes

          mounted on the wall giving a homey feel. After settling in

          Amy and LatteGirl get into their BIKINIS, turn on Pitbull

          and Henry K. Iglecius, start DANCING, and Amy is finally

          feeling free.


                              NARRATOR

                    After settling in, LatteGirl and I

                    slip out of our clothes and into

                    our bikinis, turn on some tunes,

                    and start dancing on our porch.

                    From there we could see the ocean

                    water and from there it was only a

                    five-minute walk to the beach.

                    There were palm trees everywhere.


          EXT. RESTAURANT - LATE AFTERNOON


          Amy and LatteGirl walk to the beach and are seated at a

          RESTAURANT where they order drinks and admire the

          surrounding islands with their lush vegetation. After dinner

          the girls go back to their condo, pack a beach bag, and head

          for the ST. THOMAS shores, rent some beach chairs, and hang

          out. Hungry, they head back to their condo, order a pizza,

          and fall asleep after watching an episode of The Jersey

          Shore.


                              NARRATOR

                    Sitting there we felt the cool

                    refreshing tropical breezes. After

                    our drink order some time passed

                    and we began to worry about our

                    meal order as the server admitted

                    to this being her first day, but

                    after after removing some unwanted

                    onions, all was good, we went back

                    to our condo, packed a beach bag,

                    and headed for the sandy St. Thomas

                    shore, following a marked path

                    through several other cono

                    complexes. All of a sudden, there

                    was the water and a beautiful sandy

                    white beach. We order some beach

                    chairs and hang out in the setting

                    tropical sun before heading back to

                    our condo, ordering a pizza, and

                    falling asleep after watching an

                    episode of The Jersey Shore. The

                    next morning the owner of our condo

                    called.


                              CONDO OWNER

                    Well, hello, I trust you're

                    enjoying the condo, but the

                    property is for sale and I need to

                    show it to a prospective buyer.

                    Now, I'm prepared to offer you an

                    incentive, I'll buy you and your

                    friend lunch if you'll do that

                    favor for me.


                              AMY

                    Ahhhh...that sounds like a deal

                    just too good to refuse!


                              CONDO OWNER

                    Fine...fine...now just take a cab

                    to Megan's Point and you'll find a

                    restaurant I own and you can order

                    anything on the menu.


          EXT. MEGAN'S POINT - AFTERNOON


          Amy is wearing a three-quarter length button down SHIRT and

          skirt of her BIKINI, but forgot to put on sunscreen and

          burned her forearms. They decide to walk to Megan's Point.

          Arriving, the town drunk offers to take their PICTURE after

          which they have their promised lunch and peruse the souvenir

          shops.


          


                              NARRATOR

                    After breakfast we did some

                    sightseeing before deciding to walk

                    to Megan's Point. Arriving, the

                    town drunk staggered over to us,

                    offered to take our picture. With a

                    FLOWER in my hair, burns and all, I

                    was looking pretty good. after

                    which we had our promised lunch and

                    did some shopping. I found some

                    skull-and-crossbones shot glasses

                    featuring a pirate hat. Shopping

                    done we headed for the marina,

                    walked around more, headed back to

                    the condo, where we grilled out

                    that night, chicken, featuring

                    spices I'd brought from home, and

                    finishing off the meal with a

                    veggie combo and salad.


          EXT. MEGAN'S POINT - MORNING


          Amy and LatteGirl are picked up the next morning by a CAB

          that takes them to MEGAN'S POINT.


                              NARRATOR

                    It was the day of the condo showing

                    and the cab picked us up at a

                    leisurely just after noon. Arriving

                    at Megan's Point, a lush resort

                    perched on a high hill. Rumba's,

                    the resort restaurant, was

                    outdoors. We settled into our seats

                    when we see this surfer dude,

                    sun-bleached, not groomed, with

                    long blond hair tied in a ponytail,

                    scraggly beard, shorts, flip-flops,

                    faded blue T-Shirt, approached our

                    table...he was our server?


                              AMY

                    Hi...we're staying at a condo, the

                    owner is showing the property this

                    afternoon and he sent us here to

                    have a meal on him. Are you aware

                    of this?


                              SERVER

                    Oh...yes...for sure, here are your

                    menus and I'm supposed to let you

                    have anything you want.


                              NARRATOR

                    Near the end of our meal the condo

                    owner, Allen, came over to invite

                    us to join a group on a day-trip to

                    the British Virgin Islands. I just

                    had to shake my head realizing that

                    no matter where I always seem to

                    make friends and that closeness

                    often leads to people sharing their

                    most intimate thoughts and feelings

                    with me--similar to what happens at

                    the club. Sitting, sipping drinks,

                    he opens up to us.


                              ALLEN

                    Yeah...I'm separated from my wife

                    of six years because of a serious

                    problem she has with alcohol. We

                    got into a fight yesterday and I

                    told her to leave, so if I seem a

                    little distant I'm in a process of

                    putting her up in a hotel.


                              NARRATOR

                    It was surreal. We'd just met this

                    man, I'm on vacation, and we just

                    happen to bump into someone with

                    major personal drama going on.


                              ALLEN

                    This is all so sad and I had no

                    idea she had a violent and abusive

                    streak when we met.


                              NARRATOR

                    We later learned that she was much

                    younger, his third wife, and

                    probably a gold-digger. Again, you

                    ladies out there, if you marry a

                    man for his money, that's fine, but

                    at least you can make the effort to

                    treat him right as no one is going

                    to put up with a bitch for long,

                    especially if he's been married a

                    couple of times before and has the

                    money to kick you to the curb

                    without suffering too much

                    financially. Also, these days

                    prenuptial agreements insure that

                    you won't get shit during a messy

                    divorce.


                              ALLEN

                    Come with me, I have to send a fax

                    to the hotel where she's going to

                    be staying for a week before she

                    heads back to New York.


          INT. ALLEN'S HOME


          Allen's CONDO had a gorgeous view off his back porch. Amy

          and LatteGirl sit on the PORCH while he sends the fax. He

          invites the girls to make themselves at home, they snack in

          the kitchen and even take a SHOWER.


                              ALLEN

                    I have to get that fax ready and

                    send it off, but in the meantime

                    please make yourselves at home.


          Amy and LatteGirl stare at each other with both puzzled and

          concerned looks on their faces, not at all sure what Allen

          might have in mind for them.


                              ALLEN

                    I can see you're a little

                    uncomfortable, but rest assured

                    that you have nothing to worry

                    about, so, again, please make

                    yourselves at home...really.


          After deciding that Allen would not be a problem, the girls

          go into the KITCHEN to snack, then to the bathroom to

          SHOWER, after DRESSING it was back to the kitchen to make

          some drinks and then proceeded to DANCE to the music that

          was playing.


                              NARRATOR

                    Again we looked at each other and

                    based on the many interpersonal

                    skills we'd both acquired,

                    primarily dealing with recognizing

                    the desires in men's eyes and

                    intentions, we felt comfortable in

                    taking Allen up on his offer. After

                    snacking in his kitchen we even

                    took a shower together, even used

                    some of his soon-to-be ex wife's

                    toiletries...and were not disturbed

                    in any way by Allen. After dressing

                    we were back in the kitchen, made

                    some drinks, and started dancing to

                    the music he had on. Sadly for

                    Allen we could hear him arguing

                    with his wife on the phone, she

                    being obviously drunk and being

                    obnoxious.


                              ALLEN'S WIFE

                    Why are you doing this to me...I

                    can change, I can stop drinking,

                    just please give me one more

                    chance...please.


                              ALLEN

                    We've been through this over and

                    over...you're not going to change.

                    It's over for us and you just have

                    to accept it!


                              ALLEN'S WIFE

                    This isn't over...and if I have to

                    I'll hire the best lawyer I can

                    find to make your miserable life

                    even more miserable.


                              NARRATOR

                    We were in the next room and could

                    hear everything. As they fought I

                    had the thought that everything

                    happens for a reason. Allen was at

                    a time in his life when he needed

                    support and we show up, two pretty

                    girls experienced in these matters

                    able to help him feel better.


                              ALLEN

                    Ladies...I'm afraid the fax isn't

                    going through so would you mind

                    going with me to the hotel so I'm

                    going to run into town to take care

                    of this, shouldn't take too long,

                    and when I get back I'll take you

                    both out for a nice dinner.


          EXT. HOLIDAY INN


          They pull into the Holiday Inn parking lot when Amy sees

          Allen's WIFE, clearly angry. Amy and LatteGirl duck down so

          she won't see them in his CAR.


                              NARRATOR

                    I'd seen pictures of Allen's wife

                    at his condo and noticed her dark

                    hair, seemed pretty enough, and, a

                    little like an older version of me,

                    which I thought was a bit weird and

                    perhaps a bit of a reason why Allen

                    was attracted to us, so when I saw

                    an obviously angry woman walking

                    across the parking lot I recognized

                    her right away. Quickly, LatteGirl

                    and I ducked down, hoping she

                    wouldn't see us in Allen's car,

                    hoping to avoid a confrontation,

                    but they'd had a confrontation

                    inside the hotel.


          INT. HOLIDAY INN - AFTERNOON


          Allen is working out the details with the counter clerk when

          his wife walks up to him.


                              ALLEN'S WIFE

                    Can I have a hug?


                              ALLEN

                    No...no...can't you see I'm busy.


                              ALLEN'S WIFE

                    Allen, I am really sorry...I will

                    go to rehab...I can change, I will

                    change!


                              ALLEN

                    I've heard it all before...you'll

                    never change, certainly not for me

                    and I'm sick of being miserable all

                    the time.


          Realizing that this time she is not able to manipulate him,

          she reverts to the true BITCH she is and turns to the

          counter clerk Allen is dealing with.


                              ALLEN'S WIFE

                    Say, just how big is the room he's

                    putting me up in, I mean how many

                    guys can I fit in there at one

                    time?


          EXT. HOLIDAY INN - AFTERNOON


          Back in the car Allen is telling what happened to the girls

          as Amy pats him on the shoulder as he sat there shaking his

          head, requiring some time to settle down before they could

          leave.


                              AMY

                    Oh honey...I'm so sorry...you poor

                    thing.


                              ALLEN

                    Thanks for being here...I can't

                    imagine going through all this

                    alone.


          After a couple of relaxing deep breaths they leave for the

          restaurant, share a nice meal, after which he drops the

          girls off at their condo.


                              ALLEN

                    I'll be back at nine to pick you up

                    for our excursion to the British

                    Virgin Islands.


          Back in their ROOMS, the ladies are both numb and exhausted

          from the day's roller-coaster soap opera drama, watched some

          TV, passed out, but not before both agreeing to sleep late

          in the morning.


          INT. AMY'S CONDO - MORNING


          The girls want to sleep in but a constant DRIPPING sound

          along with a flotation lounge chair in their private POOL

          was being buffeted by the wind causing other tapping sounds.

          Despite all this they manage to sleep until 10 and after

          SHOWERS they take a cab to the ferry and on to St. John.


                              NARRATOR

                    After getting our ferry tickets we

                    thought we were in the front of the

                    line that determined where you'd

                    sit on the ferry as we hoped to be

                    on top in the open air, but it

                    wasn't to be. Our luck changed,

                    however, when getting off the ferry

                    when a stranger made us an offer we

                    just couldn't refuse.


                              STRANGER

                    Hey ladies...want a free shot of

                    rum?


                              NARRATOR

                    Well, that was a no-brainer, of

                    course we did. The offer came from

                    a cute guy, rare so far on our

                    vacation. The bar serving the shot

                    was named Bones and they only sold

                    rum and rum drinks along with the

                    usual souvenirs. After downing our

                    shots we wanted to get some sun.


                              AMY

                    Can you recommend a good beach for

                    people-watching?


                              STRANGER

                    Cinnamon Beach, you'll have a lot

                    of fun there, guaranteed. After

                    more shopping and a light lunch,

                    ready for the beach we caught a

                    cab.


          EXT. CINNAMON BEACH - AFTERNOON


          Their first cab had engine problems, the second cab brought

          the girls to wrong beach, but finally they ended up at

          CINNAMON BEACH, spread their towels, but soon conditions got

          cool and windy. Ready to head home, the girls look for a cab

          stand, but with no cabs in sight are advised to hitchhike,

          which they do.


                              NARRATOR

                    The beach was beautiful, with a

                    comfortable campground feel. We fit

                    right in, spread our towels, and

                    settled into back in the steamy

                    Virgin Islands' sun. Late in the

                    day, though, conditions soon got

                    cooler and windy. Ready to return

                    home, we walked to a cab stand,

                    were told we'd have to hitchhike,

                    but that it was safe and common on

                    the island. The thing is you're not

                    supposed to stick your thumb out,

                    instead you point with your index

                    finger in the direction you want to

                    go, so that's what we did...and it

                    worked, only four cars passed

                    before we were picked up! Not ready

                    to end our day, we stopped at a bar

                    and started downing shots and doing

                    toasts.


                              AMY

                    Cheers to LatteGirl!


                              NARRATOR

                    Then LatteGirl did a toast that

                    rocked my world.


                              LATTEGIRL

                    Cheers to Shellbie...


                              NARRATOR

                    After it sank in that she was

                    toasting my dear friend who'd

                    recently died, the main reason I

                    was on this vacation being to get

                    over her passing, I slammed the

                    shot glass down so hard I thought

                    it would break. A few more shots

                    and I had to sit there for a moment

                    to gather myself and reflect, the

                    vacation was working though, but I

                    hadn't thought of Shellbie up to

                    that point, but now I couldn't stop

                    thinking about her and how much I

                    still miss her. To help get past

                    this, there happened to be one cute

                    straight guy, about 22, sitting at

                    the bar. I needed a distraction to

                    get back to vacation mode and he

                    fit the bill.


          EXT. BAR - AFTERNOON


          Amy and LatteGirl are sitting at the bar, Amy is upset

          hearing the name of her best friend who'd recently past,

          notices a cute guy also sitting at the bar, and decides to

          get her vacation-happy back on by flirting with him.


                              NARRATOR

                    He was from the Hamptons and had a

                    David Beckham faux hawk thing going

                    on under his baseball cap. He

                    bought us a drink, but soon his

                    annoying little friend joined in

                    but managed to keep us laughing.

                    Across the bar was a group of gay

                    guys putting on quite a show. All

                    happy and silly, it was comforting,

                    just what I needed, like the free

                    and easy times at the club.


                              CUTEBARGUY

                    I've got some weed...let's go over

                    to the beach fire.


                              AMY

                    I don't know...I guess we'll pass,

                    but thank you anyway.


                              NARRATOR

                    Something just didn't seem right

                    about it, instead we hailed a cab

                    laughing and giggling all the way

                    back to our condo almost as giddy

                    as if we had gotten weed high.


          INT. AMY'S CONDO - EVENING


          Upon entering their condo Amy begins flinging off her

          CLOTHES, puts her HAIR up, and cannonballs right into the

          pool. while playing in the pool Amy lights up one of her

          tiny cigars and texts a few of her younger club clients,

          ending the session flirting with her closest club contact,

          the Polack, before playing some more in the pool and passing

          out on their beds.


                              NARRATOR

                    I don't know why I do it...being in

                    a committed relationship and all,

                    but I was just in that kind of

                    mood. I could have texted my man,

                    but knew my happy buzz would have

                    crashed fast had he said something,

                    anything serious about my real life

                    back home. Was that selfish? I knew

                    I'd be calling him in the

                    morning...did that make it okay?


          Morning and the girls are up early and ready to go by 9. Amy

          is wearing an old striped tank dress and flip-flops over a

          BIKINI and grabs her beach bag as Allen pulls into their

          parking lot.


          EXT. BOAT DOCK


          Allen picks up the girls and has an old friend, ROBERTA,

          with him. Arriving at the dock passport forms had to be

          filled out and payments made. Amy's party gets on the boat

          joining two other couples as the BOAT leaves the harbor

          bound for the BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS. A man from Wisconsin

          introduces himself.


                              NARRATOR

                    First to introduce himself was a

                    guy from Green Bay, Wisconsin, of

                    all places and just a couple hours

                    from the club...small world. His

                    wife kept quiet. I'm always leery

                    around women I don't know. Will

                    they be cool or will they judge me.

                    Leaving the harbor the captain set

                    a course for the British Virgin

                    Islands.  Once we got into the open

                    water the captain, a leathery

                    tanned slender man with a ponytail

                    wrapped in rubber bands going half

                    way down his back and also sporting

                    a goatee and sunglasses, hit the

                    gas, and the sudden acceleration

                    had some of the ladies squealing in

                    both delight and discomfort.


                              LADY FROM GREEN BAY

                    Oh my god...I'm going to pee my

                    pants.


                              NARRATOR

                    Unable to handle the bumpy ride in

                    the front of the boat, the captain

                    slowed down so she could move to

                    the back.


                              AMY

                    Hold on to me...


          EXT. FOXY'S BAR - AFTERNOON


          After leaving the boat everyone headed for Foxy's Bar.


                              NARRATOR

                    ...but she wasn't comfortable with

                    that suggestion. Arriving at the

                    British Virgin Islands port, the

                    captain got off first to get us all

                    a day pass. We got off the boat and

                    headed for Foxy's, a bar named

                    after the owner, a gentleman who

                    allegedly has fathered over 50

                    offspring, most of whom live on the

                    island. Though apparently a

                    successful business, it was just a

                    collage of poles, thatched roofs,

                    sandy dirt floors, a deck, benches,

                    tables and chairs. When our server

                    arrived Allen spoke right up.


                              ALLEN

                    Painkillers all around...


                              NARRATOR

                    A Painkiller was a blended mix of

                    rum, of course, coconut milk,

                    pineapple and orange juice accented

                    with a touch of nutmeg. Sipping on

                    mine, I didn't understand the

                    nutmeg, but it was delicious.

                    LatteGirl, on the other hand, made

                    an icky face after tasting her

                    drink, so I downed mine and started

                    sipping on hers. After we all had a

                    nice little buzz going, Allen spoke

                    up to the bartender.


                              ALLEN

                    Would you ask Foxy to come to our

                    table?


                              NARRATOR

                    Sure enough Foxy grabbed his guitar

                    and started singing, the crazy

                    little old guy was adorable and

                    cleverly used our answers to some

                    basic hello, how are you, where are

                    you from questions to weave into

                    personalizing the lyrics of his

                    songs. For example, a song about a

                    young woman wanting to know who she

                    should marry, and learning that

                    Allen loved to go fishing, warned

                    the young woman that if she married

                    Allen he would come and go bringing

                    home fish she'd have to clean and

                    cook. After that he covered a

                    number of regular popular tunes, a

                    delightful serenade as we worked on

                    downing our drinks. The scenery was

                    striking, the inviting beach, the

                    transcendental turquoise ocean, you

                    could smell the salt in the hot

                    wind. Being in such a beautiful

                    place makes you want to bring

                    souvenirs home, so although Foxy's

                    command performance continued we

                    were off to the gift shop.


          INT. GIFT SHOP - AFTERNOON


          Arriving at the GIFT SHOP Amy and LatteGirl are looking

          around.


                              NARRATOR

                    Most of the items had Foxy's logo

                    on them. I pick up a few

                    refrigerator magnets, a number of

                    postcards, and a bracelet made of

                    multicolored beads, shells, and

                    small rocks. I loved it so much I

                    put it right on my wrist, handing

                    the clerk my CC without a thought

                    for the price. Shopping over, it

                    was on to the next island, Virgin

                    Gorda.


          Before leaving Amy walks up to Foxy.


                              AMY

                    So thank you for concert and you've

                    got a very special bar here.


          Amy kisses him on the CHEEK then rushes to catch up to the

          others who were already heading back to the BOAT. On the way

          back they come across a TABLE next to a shack staked with

          shells, rocks, and petrified coconut halves and there was a

          sign saying, TAKE A SHELL, so Amy did.


          EXT. YACHT - AFTERNOON


          The group is nearing their destination, Virgin Gorda, when

          the CAPTAIN slows down and stops the YACHT.


                              NARRATOR

                    Picking out my shell, it was a take

                    a shell and make a wish

                    moment...having made good progress

                    heading to Virgin Gorda the captain

                    slowed down and stopped quite a

                    ways from shore and no dock in

                    sight.


                              CAPTAIN

                    It's a swim from here, guys, but

                    don't worry you'll have a flotation

                    device to assist you.


          One by one they jump off the boat, grabbed onto their

          FLOATIES, and swam to shore. Significant waves threatened to

          bash some of them into the rocks near the shore. Arriving,

          Amy helps some of the other navigate securing their shore

          legs amidst the battering waves. 


                              NARRATOR

                    Allen knew what was going on, but

                    the rest of us were in shock,

                    like...what you can't be serious!

                    The so-called flotation device was

                    only a large bag that folded down

                    and was Velcroed in place so water

                    couldn't get in. I took a chance

                    and put my camera in there. One by

                    one we all jumped into the water,

                    grabbed on for dear life to our

                    flotation bags, and swam to shore,

                    but when we got close, even so

                    close we normally could have stood

                    up and walked to the beach, the

                    waves were so intense we had to

                    keep swimming all the way to the

                    beach. Arriving I caught my breath

                    and noticed there was little sand

                    on the beach, mostly small rocks

                    and shells, pretty but not soft on

                    the feet. Having got to the beach

                    first, I made sure to help some of

                    the others who were struggling.

                    Having never done anything quite

                    like that, I couldn't help but

                    admit to a sense of accomplishment.

                    Our island-hopping adventure had

                    begun!


          EXT. SHORE BAR - AFTERNOON


          Everyone on shore, the group proceeds to nearby bar.


                              NARRATOR

                    Settled into seats at this nearby

                    little shanty bar, the first round

                    was on the folks from Green Bay.

                    Sipping on my Painkiller I couldn't

                    help but be overwhelmed, drinking

                    in the intoxicating natural a

                    beauty of panoramic visit I was

                    beholding--sand, mangrove trees at

                    the shore, ocean and huge boulders

                    everywhere. I couldn't turn my head

                    without being moved by another

                    scene worthy of framed painting.

                    Next on Allen's itinerary was a

                    walk through the local caves.


          INT. LOCAL CAVES - AFTERNOON


          After recovering from the SWIM to the beach, the group

          relaxed with their drinks before heading for the CAVES, the

          group winding their way along a path. Amy and LatteGirl keep

          pausing to take pictures.


                              NARRATOR

                    I was thinking something like the

                    Carlsbad Caverns, dark and

                    foreboding, spelunking through

                    tight openings, but basically it

                    was just a path that weaved through

                    all the boulders and rock

                    formations, yet it was fascinating,

                    like going back in time before

                    there were people and civilization

                    on the planet. As I later learned

                    it was in fact the site for a Tyra

                    Banks photo shoot early in her

                    carer. Meandering through the maze

                    of boulders, LatteGirl and I paused

                    frequently to take pictures. Allen

                    noticed this.


                              ALL

                    It looks like you guys have done

                    this sort of thing before.


                              AMY

                    Yeah...we've done some modeling

                    here and there.


                              NARRATOR

                    My prized picture, one I plan to

                    blow up and print, involved three

                    boulders close to each other with a

                    small opening through which you

                    could see a tree limb, the leaves,

                    and the ocean, magnificently framed

                    all on its own. Back on shore it

                    was time to pack up our floaties

                    and swim back to the boat.


          EX. YACHT - LATER AFTERNOON


          A few in the group do some snorkeling.


                              NARRATOR

                    Allen wanted to stop to do some

                    snorkeling, the captain advised

                    against it due to the rough waters,

                    but Allen insisted. We got on our

                    gear, but as soon as we hit the

                    water the choppy seas swept us away

                    from the yacht. Every time I tried

                    to take a breath of air instead I

                    got a mouth full of salt water. I

                    just had a mask without the

                    snorkel, but thank God I had a life

                    preserver on or I would have

                    drowned for sure. It got insane and

                    dangerous really fast and it was

                    Allen who'd drifted farther away

                    from the safety of the yacht than

                    any of us, and suddenly he was no

                    longer in sight. I couldn't make

                    much progress getting back to the

                    boat so desperate to save myself I

                    rolled over and began backstroking.

                    LatteGirl was safe and looking over

                    the water I saw that a dingy from a

                    boat anchored at a coral reef near

                    us was rescuing Allen. The dingy

                    with Allen passed me up, but I let

                    them know I also needed help and

                    they returned, but pulling me over

                    the side I was sure my boobs would

                    pop out of my bikini top, they did,

                    the flash didn't last long and I

                    knew that under the circumstances

                    it really didn't matter...we

                    weren't at the club where I always

                    get paid when people see my boobs!

                    Back on t he boat we were all in

                    shock. I'd never come so close to

                    drowning. I quickly downed a drink

                    and a bottle of water, still

                    tasting the salt in my mouth. That

                    adventure over, off we went Norman

                    Island and the Willie T. Pirate

                    Ship!


          EXT. WILLIE T. PIRATE SHIP - LATER AFTERNOON


          Despite the fact that everyone was in shock from the near

          fatal fiasco of SNORKELING in rough seas, they were soon on

          their way to Norman Island and the WILLIE T. PIRATE SHIP!

          After a hearty lunch everyone was up and DANCING as the

          bartenders positioned temporary tattoos on the breasts of

          those comfortable playing along. Party over, it was back to

          the yacht after which Allen drives the girls home, but

          rather than call it a day they DRESS and go out for a fancy

          dinner, get home, do some SKINNY DIPPING, and pass out cold

          knowing their flight home will take off in a few hours.


                              NARRATOR

                         (We coasted into the calm

                         incredibly beautiful cove, no

                         more choppy seas, the clouds

                         were gone, no more cold winds,

                         as we docked by the pirate

                         ship. I didn't bother putting

                         on my clothes and just stayed

                         in my bikini. Sipping on

                         drinks I learned that the

                         pirate ship had a

                         Girls-Gone-Wild reputation. It

                         was not uncommon for ladies to

                         jump naked off the pirate ship

                         during drunken parties. We

                         were all starving so lunch.

                         Having nearly just died, I

                         wasn't about to watch my diet

                         and finished off a whole rack

                         of ribs smothered in barbecue

                         sauce along with fried

                         potatoes and coleslaw, and we

                         all felt the same way...food

                         had never tasted so good. I'm

                         sure there is a lesson in all

                         this, something about not

                         taking things, life for

                         granted, but let's not go

                         there right now. Lunch over,

                         after a few more drinks, with

                         the music blaring and the

                         spirit of the ghost ship

                         adding to the festive

                         atmosphere, everyone was up

                         and dancing. Adding to the

                         frisky fun the bartenders were

                         putting temporary

                         skull-and-crossbones tattoos

                         on the girls' breasts...so to

                         put the tattoo in just the

                         right place you had to pull

                         out your boob! Of course,

                         LatteGirl and I didn't mind,

                         enjoyed the experience and

                         took some topless pictures!

                         The party over, it was back to

                         the yacht and soon Allen was

                         driving us home. It was too

                         early to call it a day,

                         especially since our flight

                         home was the next day, so we

                         showered changed and went out

                         for dinner, got home

                         completely exhausted, and did

                         some skinny dipping in our

                         private pool before passing

                         out cold.)

                    


          EXT. AMY'S CONDO - MORNING


          The girls are rudely awakened by early morning ROOSTER

          calls, the birds living wild all over the island, get

          dressed, Allen picks them up, and drops them off at the

          airport, the FLIGHT home quiet and calming.


                              NARRATOR

                    Like every morning we woke to the

                    rude roosters who are roaming free

                    all over the island. Those little

                    fuckers start crowing even before

                    sunrise. We took our time getting

                    up, had breakfast, and spent some

                    of our last remaining vacation

                    hours on our nearby beach. Allen

                    picked us up mid afternoon for a

                    later afternoon flight. I finished

                    the vacation looking a little tan

                    when normally I'm a ghostly Vampira

                    white. The flight home was not

                    memorable, and that was just as

                    well. Stepping into the Midwestern

                    winter, though, was a shock...it

                    was cold, blustery, and rainy, in

                    other words...miserable.


          As Amy remembers SHELLBIE there are scenes of the two of

          them in betters days enjoying each other's friendship, at

          the salon doing a wax, participating in charity runs to

          support cancer research.


                              NARRATOR

                    Not that long ago I had two really

                    good girlfriends...now I have one.

                    There were some sad moments missing

                    Shellbie on the trip but LatteGirl

                    and I made some new memories, grew

                    close, and I really needed that.

                    Tomorrow, feeling refreshed, I'll

                    hit the ground running at the club.


          


          THE END OF SHAVE SLOWLY LIMITED TV SERIES EPISODE #08

                    


                              


                              


                              


                              


          


          

                    


          


          


                              

                    


          

                    

                    

                    


                              


                              


          


                              


                              

                    

                    


                              

                     


                              

                    


                              


          

                    


          


          


                              

                    


          


          


                              


          

                    


          


                              

                    

                    


          


                              


                              


                              


                              


                              


                              


                              

                    


          

                    


          


                              


          

                    

                    

                    


                              

                    


          


          


          

                    


                              

                    

                     

                    


                              

                    



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