For 10 extraordinary years I made my way in this world, paid my bills, supported my family, by strutting my stuff on the stage and in the VIP rooms of a gentleman's club. I don't regret those years, but while there I also knew I had stories to tell, some true, some fiction, wrote and published two books, but never got around to promoting them.
While feature films are hard to come by, these days there are real opportunities in the TV market and I believe my Shave Slowly stories would serve a TV limited or extended series well. To that end, I'm currently working with my editor to write a pilot script to pitch to producers.
Sure, since the series will deal with a stripper, guys should want to watch, but Shave Slowly will also be presented from a woman's point of view, especially any woman out there struggling to establish her independence in a male-dominated world.
The pilot episode is being adapted from my July 6th Parts I & II Bandcamp recordings:
https://shaveslowly.bandcamp.com/track/chapter-3-july-6-part-1-shave-slowly
https://shaveslowly.bandcamp.com/track/chapter-3-july-6-part-2-shave-slowly
If such a series is produced, that should certainly serve to help launch my next career as a professional storyteller...Wish Me Luck!!!
PILOT SCRIPT
INT. AMY'S HOME - BEDROOM
AMY is home in BED, morning light slipping through the
bedroom window. Her DOG moves as Amy rolls over to be closer
to her man, still sound asleep. She rubs his back easing him
into some fast and furious, just the way she likes it,
morning SEX to wake her up. When her PHONE rings, she let's
it go to voice mail, cums twice, hits the SHOWER, DRESSES
and checks the recording. It's one of her Crossing The
Border gentleman's club VIP regulars so she calls him right
back.
FUZZY WUZZY
Hello...
AMY
Hi...
FUZZY WUZZY
Did I wake you?
AMY
No...no...what's up?
FUZZY WUZZY
Well, I was thinking of coming in
today and I was just wondering if
you were going to be there?
AMY
Why yes, I sure will and it'll be
great to see you.
FUZZY WUZZY
You as well...later then.
Amy puts the phone down, finishes dressing, old faded jeans
and loose cardigan, flip-flops...you'd never know she was
some irresistible adult entertainer, gets into her mean and
powerful CHRYSLER 300, fires it up and hits the road for the
long ride to the club along rural back roads.
NARRATOR
FUZZYWUZZY is always surprised when
I call him right back, but it's
because of loyal regulars like him
that a girl like me can make a
decent living in the flash-for-cash
business. Every successful adult
entertainer has their own way
attracting and holding on to
regulars, especially the VIP kind
who can drop the big bucks to
fatten our tip purses. Most of
these guys are pussycats, so I
don't feel I'm taking too much of a
risk by letting them reach me by
phone or text, besides my man used
to be the bouncer at the first club
I worked at, so, besides
understanding the business I'm in,
I pity any guy who tries to give me
a hard time.
Amy is driving down COUNTRY ROADS and passes an old,
abandoned CHURCH which triggers a memory of her early years
living in northern Wisconsin in a small Jehovah's Witness
enclave.
INT. JEHOVAH'S WITNESS KINGDOM HALL
Ten-year-old Amy is sitting between her GRANDMOTHER and
PARENTS on a hot summer Sunday in northern Wisconsin, the
preacher going on and on about how the end is near. After
the service they drive to their assigned neighborhood and go
door to door passing out their Watchtower material.
NARRATOR
I went along with them, what else
did I know, but basically I was an
abandoned child, my parents always
gone on some Jehovah's Witness
crusade of one type or another.
INT. AMY'S GRANDMOTHER'S DEN
Living with her grandparents, though she was supposed to be
HOME-SCHOOLED, Amy ends up fending for herself, but at 13
years old there was a neighbor lady who GROOMED DOGS and Amy
is walking over there to help out. Amy is washing and
brushing out one dog while the neighbor lady does another.
DOG GROOMER
Amy...you're really good at this.
Would you like to earn some extra
money by helping me out on a
regular basis?
AMY
You bet...when do you want me to
come over...tomorrow?
Amy's daydream of memories continues, she goes over there
the next day and every day thereafter, able to groom the
dogs by herself, the dogs love her, the CLIENTS love her,
and she ends up living there with the dog groomer. More
years go by, then, a boy is on his knees asking for her hand
in MARRIAGE, she agrees, there's a ceremony, and Amy is off
to the big city, Milwaukee Wisconsin, to start a new,
hopefully more exciting life. Then, in her car, the
green-to-red stoplight ends the daydream and signals a left
turn to the club.
EXT. CROSSING THE BORDER GENTLEMAN'S CLUB
Amy pulls into her usual spot in the lot, early as usual,
get's out, another dancer pulls in right next to her on
purpose and gets out.
DANCER #1
That you're car...
AMY
You bet...love my car...
Amy heads for the entrance without breaking stride or
waiting for the dancer to get her things so they can talk
and walk in together.
NARRATOR
I try to be nice to all the girls,
but some, like this one, would like
a piece of my action and she's just
too obvious about it--not going to
happen.
Entering the club, Amy heads right for the DRESSING ROOM and
without engaging in small talk with any of the other girls,
in a few minutes transforms into a siren few men who come to
the club can resist, and heads for her spot at the club bar,
back behind the action where she can see everything that is
going on, especially who is coming in through the MAIN
ENTRANCE. Ally is walking over to her holding two Starbucks
coffees.
AMY
Hi Ally, what you got there?
ALLY
Just thought it might help you get
your day off to a good start...I
believe you like the Caramel Latte.
Ally hands the latte over to Amy.
AMY
Thanks girl...
NARRATOR
I thanked her, but the STARBUCKS
was her way of thanking me for
helping her close two VIPs the day
before--a smooth four bills in her
tip purse.
Before they can finish their Starbucks, Amy's regular, Fuzzy
Wuzzy, walks in and heads right over to them, he sits, they
talk.
AMY
Hey...you made it!
FUZZY WUZZY
Yeah...yeah...good to see you, Hi
Ally.
Amy hugs him, he shakes Ally's hand.
AMY
So, what are you up for?
FUZZY WUZZY
Well...you're both looking so good
today...how about a VIP double?
Amy looks at Ally, who nods back.
ALLY
That works for us!
Right about then, one of Ally's VIP regulars walks into the
club.
NARRATOR
So, the day's first complication,
usually one of many, when one of
Ally's VIP regulars shows up. These
prized guys who are there to empty
their wallets have to be handled
with tender, loving care, like
temperamental racehorses. They
often only have so much time and
are fussy about who they have VIPs
or lap dances with, and, they often
have to be nudged some to part with
their cash. It's a little like a
jockey who has to maneuver his
steed just right to win the race.
Some take to the whip, others need
a more delicate touch. So, Ally
can't leave her regular hanging
while we do a double or she might
lose him. But then, an opening.
FUZZY WUZZY
You know, Amy, I'd really like to
do a VIP with you alone, then,
we'll do that double later with
Ally...is that possible?
NARRATOR
That was just the break we needed.
The timing was no longer going to
be a problem--or so I hoped. Ally's
guy seldom made it through the
entire 30-minute VIP session. At
about the 15-minute mark he usually
got a little too excited, if you
know what I mean, and never wanted
to continue after that.
Ally goes over to sit with her regular, explains the
situation, Ally takes her guy into VIP, Amy walks Fuzzy
Wuzzy to VIP, and later they do the VIP double, but while
both girls are in VIP another regular strolls in and doesn't
see either Ally or Amy and is about to leave when Ally comes
out of VIP. Amy is going through her custom VIP routine with
Fuzzy Wuzzy; some dancing, hugs, talking, massages. Then the
shot shifts to the double VIP with the girls doing their
thing.
NARRATOR
Ally's new guy didn't have much
time, so she did a VIP with him, at
the same time I was doing one with
Fuzzy Wuzzy, then, we did the VIP
double later. If I didn't really
know the client I'd start each VIP
with a routine in mind--typically
fast paced, more grinding, more
grabbing. For those I knew, like
Fuzzy Wuzzy, I also knew what he
liked in VIP--some dancing, lots of
cuddling, talking, and shoulder
massages in his case. For a double
VIP usually one girl would dance
low, the other high, pushing our
boobs on either side of the
client's face, all the while
playing with each other, lots of
giggling, acting sexy and seductive
with the client and with each
other. While I was still in VIP
Complication #2, another money man,
TallDarkandHandsomeMan had wandered
in while we were in VIP and not
seeing either of us was about to
leave.
ALLY
Dan...where you going?
TALLDARKANDHANDSOMEMAN
Oh...hi Ally...didn't see you so I
was about to give up, but hey,
you're here!
ALLY
...well, I'm free now if you want
to...
TALLDARKANDHANDSOMEMAN
Right...right...let's go.
Ally walks TallDarkandHandsomeMan into VIP and they get to
it. Ally opens Dan's shirt as that is his thing and starts
massaging his chest when the bouncer looks in and rudely
puts a stop to it.
NARRATOR
I'm still in VIP with Fuzzy Wuzzy
when I clearly hear Ally and
TallDarkandHandsomeMan in the VIP
stall next to mine, Ally letting me
know where she is so that she
doesn't miss out on the double we
have coming up...smart girl. Just
before I was done with Fuzzy Wuzzy,
Complication #3. The bouncer,
monitoring the VIP sessions with
hidden cameras, had stuck his nose
in to Ally's VIP, seeing
TallDarkandHandsomeMan's shirt
open,told him to button it up which
upset him. We always opened his
shirt, he's a nice guy, not
hairy...he liked it...he likes it
when we touch his chest once in
awhile. We did that to a lot of
men...it's not like we have to
worry about germs from chest on
breast or hand on chest...no big
deal. The bouncers can be
temperamental, sometimes picking on
both the customers and the girls
for things that may be technically
against the rules, but don't really
warrant upsetting a client who just
paid $300 for 30 minutes with a
dancer. I poked my head in right
after the bouncer.
Amy sits down and gives TallDarkandHandsomeMan a big hug,
but he is noticeably upset.
AMY
Hi...so sorry I wasn't here the
last time you stopped in...how are
you?
TALLDARKANDHANDSOMEMAN
Well, I'm kind of mad...that
bouncer is being a jerk...
AMY
...yeah...I heard...
TALLDARKANDHANDSOMEMAN
I'm really sick of this...Look,
Ally, I'm sorry but I'm just going
to leave. Amy, can you do anything
about this?
AMY
I'm sure I can, but right now I
have to do a VIP with a friend of
mine and that will take about a
half hour, if you can wait.
TALLDARKANDHANDSOMEMAN
...I guess...I'll have a beer and
cool off.
Amy gives him a long, warm hug...walks Fuzzy Wuzzy into VIP
for the double with Ally, they snuggle and fool around, but
at the end Amy is quick to check her cell.
NARRATOR
Despite what he said, and we
dancers have a sixth sense about
these things, I kind of figured he
was going to leave. Men are always
sensitive about having intimacy
interrupted and how much worse when
they've paid for some "touch" and
even that goes south. So, the
threesome with Fuzzy Wuzzy went
well, lots of snuggling and just
fooling around, he was happy, but
it lasted longer than I'd planned
and Complication #4, someone who
had texted me for a VIP, my
ElectricianMan, who is always
pressed for time when he comes in,
we talk for five minutes, off to
VIP, mess around, and he leaves. He
had been waiting for me.
Amy joins ElectricianMan at the bar.
AMY
You made it...
He looks at his watch...
ELECTRICIANMAN
Yeah...I've been here a
while...can't stay, sorry...
NARRATOR
He tipped me a couple of dollars
and I apologized for not being
available sooner. I know this
sounds bad, but this kind of thing
is part of the excitement for the
guys who stop in. The premium
girls, like me, and a few others,
are not always available, sometimes
they have to wait, and sometimes
they lose their place in
line...that thrill of anticipation
is one reason why they keep coming
back, over and over, and are
willing drop their last dollar to
have their fantasies
fulfilled...and that's our job, to
become whatever fantasy they need
us to be and it's not always about
taking our clothes off.
INT. VIP - PAST MEMORY
Amy walks an older man into VIP, they sit down, she knows
what to do, Amy sits on his lap, talks in a LITTLE GIRL'S
VOICE, keeps her top on, he pulls a brush out of his suit
coat inside pocket, and starts brushing her hair. When she
feels his excitement, she motions for him to take off her
top and continues brushing until he climaxes.
AMY
I just love it when you brush my
hair...hmmmmm...
BRUSHMAN
That's it...lean back a little for
me, honey...
AMY
Don't forget my bangs...
BRUSHMAN
Now, my dear, dear, do I ever
forget...
INT. LOCAL MOVIE THEATER
Amy meets LUNCHGUY at the club, she gives him a lap dance,
then a VIP, then they have lunch and off to a movie. During
the movie he holds her hand, touches her leg, after the
movie the go to a bar, he hands her an envelope with five
hundred dollar bills in it, they order drinks, and talk.
NARRATOR
Then, there was the client who
almost wanted to adopt me. I met
him at the club, the was older,
nice, and spent a lot of money on
me. When he asked to see me outside
of the club, usually a no-no, I
felt okay about it, we'd have
lunch, go to a movie, he'd hold my
hand, touch me on the leg, no
problem...then the bombshell I
wasn't expecting. You see, no one
at the club knew I was...married,
and I should add, happily married.
LUNCHGUY
That was so pleasant...you're
company is so pleasant, I'm very
fond of you, Amy, and want to offer
you something much more substantial
than what you're presently
doing...not that you're not very
good at what you do.
AMY
Well...you know I also enjoy your
company, but you've got my
attention, tell me more.
LUNCHGUY
You know I deal in wholesale
jewelry, we sell all over the
world, and you'd be a good fit for
my operation...and in time you'd
take over my duties which would
mean a six-figure salary for you.
NARRATOR
This wasn't the first offer I'd
received from well connected
clients, but this one seemed on the
up and up. He'd always been a
gentleman, I didn't think the offer
involved sexual favors, but still I
was married and had a full life
outside of the club...
AMY
Well...that sounds very
generous...but you understand, I'll
need time to think about it.
LUNCHGUY
Certainly...
NARRATOR
So much for fantasies...I had
plenty of reality to deal with on
most days and this complicated day
was bout to get even more
complicated.
INT. CROSSING THE BORDER GENTLEMAN'S CLUB
Amy is saying goodbye to ElectricianMan, then, the scene
shifts to another VIP with another businessman wearing a
DRESS SHIRT and tie in VIP with Amy and another girl and
they are opening up his shirt, which he likes.
NARRATOR
Before I was able to get over to
ElectricianMan, I noticed there
were four other girls who knew he
was my regular, knew he had money
to spend, and who were doing their
best to get it out of him...but he
was fussy. He'd get VIPs from me
and a couple of other girls,
usually on my recommendation, which
was nice because that meant I could
help out some of the dancers now
and then...good PR...and it felt
good to help someone make money on
what would have been a bad day for
them. Back to the complication with
TallDarkHandsomeDan, he wasn't the
first client who came in with a
dress shirt and tie who got the
bare chest treatment...they like
it. So, the bouncer was a jerk
about it, which was not fair since
that sort of thing had gone on many
times before and that was the wrong
customer to be a jerk to because
all the girls really like him and
appreciate him coming in to see us
and spend his money on us.
INT. VIP ROOM WITH TALLDARKHANDSOMEDAN
Amy is sitting in there, just talking to TallDarkHandsomeDan
about what just happened with his shirt open when the lights
start flashing.
NARRATOR
The flashing lights were code for
the girl to get out of VIP because
the client had not paid for VIP
time with them. He knew what that
meant and now he was even more
upset. It was just rude and he had
a right to be mad. It happens, the
bouncers get in a mood, upset the
customers, and that fucks with our
money! Now, I'm furious...and Ally
is even more furious. After all
this he left and that worried me.
Ally, fuming, marches to the office
to speak to the club owner. Now,
that's something we are not
supposed to do, complain directly
to the boss about anything, but
when it affects our money and his
money, that's a different story.
ALLY
Look, it's ridiculous that a
bouncer can be having a bad day and
be rude to our customers. It just
happened to me, I had a guy's shirt
open, and as I understand it,
there's no club rule against it,
the bouncer tells him to button up
his shirt, and he leaves right in
the middle of a VIP!
CLUB MANAGER
Get him in here...
Ally leaves the office and asks one her bouncer friends to
get the offending bouncer into the office.
CLUB MANAGER
Look...about a guy in VIP having
his shirt open, if the girls don't
have a problem with it, I don't
have a problem with it...DON'T EVER
UPSET A CUSTOMER OVER THAT
AGAIN...YOU'RE COSTING THEM MONEY
AND YOU'RE FUCKING COSTING ME
MONEY...DO YOU HEAR ME!
NARRATOR
The boss knew the score...that
pissed-off guy might never come
back into the club and if he was a
regular VIP customer that meant the
club would be out hundreds of
dollars, and worse, he'd probably
bad mouth the club to his friends.
INT. CLUB STAGE
Amy heads for the stage and begins her routine. Fuzzy Wuzzy
and Ally follow right behind, but one of the other dancers,
drunk, slurring her words, pesters Fuzzy Wuzzy.
DRUNK DANCER
Won't you buy me a drink...
FUZZY WUZZY
Ahhhh, Amy's on stage...
DRUNK DANCER
...oh...she won't mind...I've known
Amy for years...we're tight...we go
back to the days when I was a
dancer and she was just a shot
girl, so we're cool, and she
wouldn't mind if we did a VIP
together.
NARRATOR
Fuzzy Wuzzy spots that BS right
away, besides all of my regulars
know who I'm cool with and who I'm
not...and who I absolutely can't
fucking stand...and she's one of
those girls, we coexist and that is
it. We work next to each other,
around each other, but we never
work with each other--not one time
have I ever helped her make money.
Amy is still on stage and Ally comes to the tipping area
rolling her eyes over what was going on with Fuzzy Wuzzy.
Amy's literary editor had also showed up that day and was at
the stage to catch Amy's act.
NARRATOR
Yes, I'm an adult entertainer, but
I'm also a damned fine storyteller,
and my editor was helping me shape
my stories into a publishable book.
We normally collaborate via email,
but though I was happy to see him,
at that moment I was red-faced
steaming over the recent club drama
and now this bitch is in the face
of one of my favorite customers, no
I can say he is my favorite. Such a
fuckin' stupid bitch...
Ally leaves the situation and heads over to the stage with
Amy who is fuming.
AMY
I'm telling you, if she takes him
over to VIP I'm going to rip her
fuckin' extensions out.
INT. SILK STOCKING GENTLEMAN'S CLUB
Amy's nemesis is strutting her stuff on the stage, bending
over in a tiny revealing thong, white boots, push-up bra,
glitter on her eyes, dark lipstick, while Amy hustles the
guys focused on the stage for shots.
NARRATOR
She used to have blond hair when we
worked together at Silk Stockings,
a different club, where I was a
lowly shot girl...which made her
look extra trailer park trashy,
always wore the same club outfits,
lily white boots, a teeny tiny
thong, which should not even have
been allowed because you could
basically see her pussy, and a
regular push-up bra...day after
day, never changes it up,
EVER...wears the same goddamn
perfume, the same glitter on her
eyes which gets all over everyone,
dark lipstick, and all this makeup
is basically to distract from the
childhood acne pock marks. Ladies,
more makeup will often cause more
attention to bad skin. Stop
spending money on crappy makeup and
instead go get some facials and
perhaps some dermabrasion. Fuzzy
Wuzzy didn't give into her
pressure, crisis averted, so after
my stage show and tip walk I sat
with him. Because of all the
confusion I didn't do a dance for
anyone else and probably missed out
on at least $600, two VIPs I could
have had with TallDarkHandsomeMan,
and a VIP I missed with
ElectricianMan.
INT. CROSSING THE BORDER GENTLEMAN'S CLUB
Amy now sitting with Fuzzy Wuzzy.
NARRATOR
I was still steaming mad and I'm
usually in a pretty good mood when
Fuzzy Wuzzy comes in...he's nice to
me, I'm making for-sure money, it's
not difficult, and usually my day
goes great.
AMY
Look, I'm sorry for my mood...I'm
so sorry that all this drama is
happening while you're here, I'm
usually not stressed out at all
when you're here, I love it when
you come in to see me, you always
make me happy, you always treat me
so nice...
Amy is getting misty eyed with emotion because she was so
stressed out, Fuzzy Wuzzy gives her some long, reassuring
hugs.
FUZZY WUZZY
...now...now...everything's going
to be okay...
Fuzzy Wuzzy gets up to leave the club...Amy goes to the
stage, and on her tip walk approaches the drunken dancer who
had caused all the problems earlier.
NARRATOR
His grandfatherly hugs were just
what I needed. After he left I had
another stage set and on my tip
walk that drunken slut dancer was
at it again, nuzzling up to one of
my regulars, spider monkey arms
wrapped all over him.
Dancer all over one of Amy's regulars...
DRUNK DANCER
If we were in VIP I'd be nuzzling
your balls until you couldn't stand
it...and that's just the beginning.
NARRATOR
...she's whispering some
bullshit...but that's beside the
point. When a dancer is going
around on her tip walk and a dancer
sitting with a potential client
sees her coming, if she has any
etiquette at all she'll back off
and let the dancer come in for a
tip, a dollar, two dollars, or a
twenty...it doesn't matter, you
back the fuck off. Not her, she's
so drunk and competitive...I swear
to god at times is seems as if
she's trying to pick a fight with
me in some backhanded way. I don't
think she's smart enough to
actually be planning that, but if
she could blame me for starting the
brawl, I get bounced, and she moves
in on my regulars. I walk up to
them, he sees me, she sees me, I
turn and stare daggers back at the
stage I'd just left to remind her
I'm on my tip walk, but I don't say
anything...I'd had enough, enough
of her, enough of everyone...I'm
steaming.
Drunk Dancer pulls away from whispering in his ear.
DRUNK DANCER
Oh my god, girl...what's
wrong...I've never seen you with
that face...
To calm the escalating situation down, the guy turns to Amy
and compliments her.
BAR CUSTOMER #1
You look so tan...
AMY
Yeah, I've been working on
it...thanks for noticing.
Amy smiles at him, he's nervous, but hands Amy five dollars
in ones. The other dancer hooks Amy's forearm.
NARRATOR
I'm thinking...don't fucking touch
me...
Amy twists out from her grip...stares right into her eyes,
glaring...
AMY
...I'M NOT TELLING YOU...
Amy walks away...the dancer doesn't follow, instead going
back to her hustling--seductive touching, dirty talk,
exposing flesh. The shot stays on the drunk dancer while the
Narrator talks.
NARRATOR
I don't like hustling...okay, I
don't think I should have to talk
people into doing a dance. If they
want boobs in their face, they want
boobs in their face, if someone
wants to be close to me, I usually
don't have to hustle them. If they
want to spend time with me, they
know the score...pay me for a dance
or many will pay just for my time.
I shouldn't have to make false
promises or talk dirty or touch
them in arousing ways. I would much
rather have the man want to give me
some of the money he has worked
hard for. If you're a nice, pretty
girl...men will want to give you
money...right?
Amy calmly goes into the dressing room to change, showers,
gets dressed, leaves the club without talking to anyone, and
drives to a restaurant. Amy texts Ally, she shows up at the
restaurant, they talk, Ally pays for dinner.
NARRATOR
I left around 5:00, didn't say by
to anyone...nothin', crossed my
name off the list of dancers who
were on duty. On top of everything
it was such a hot day...wicked hot.
I drove to a nearby restaurant, sat
down and texted Ally..."Sorry I
didn't say goodbye, I just couldn't
take anymore." On days like this
her friendship helps me stay sane.
We go through the insanity
together--she understands the
business, the ups and downs...we
can talk about anything that comes
up. Ally came to the restaurant, we
got everything out on the table,
and she even paid for dinner.
As Amy keeps talking, the scenes recap what went on that
day, morning sex with hubby, childhood memories while
driving to the club, the confusion, the frustration, the vip
sessions with fuzzy wuzzy, the double with ally, the BOUNCER
telling the VIP guy to button up his SHIRT, the bouncer
getting chewed out by the club manager, drunk dancer moving
in on Amy's regular, until unable to take any more, Amy
storms out of the club.
NARRATOR
We do that for each other when
things go south at the club...and I
make good money...I don't know how
most of the other girls put up with
the stress when they barely make
enough to cover their tip-out.
Usually I'm the one helping a
dancer get past a bad day. And days
like this, weeks like this at the
crazy carnal carnival that is a
gentleman's club have become the
norm. Stripping...easy money...I
don't think so!
THE END
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