INT. AMY'S CLUB - DAY SHIFT
Amy is sitting in her usual SPOT at the bar, but today
eating healthy and drinking green tea when HOUSEMOM comes up
to her.
HOUSEMOM
I think your little friend is in
the parking lot.
AMY
Oh really...good.
NARRATOR
From past experience I knew she was
referring to FORDFOCUSMAN. The last
few times he came in I was busy, so
I was looking out for him, hoping
to let him know I valued him as a
regular. Sure enough he walked into
the club, but headed right for the
bathroom, but right behind him was
another regular, DELIVERYMAN, who
also headed right for the bathroom.
They both came out at the same
time, but FordFoxusMan got to me
first while DeliveryMan was
ordering a drink. When DeliveryMan
started waving nervously at me I
knew I had to sort this out
quickly. I started with
FordFocusMan.
AMY
Thanks for coming in early...just
like you said you would. I have to
run and do three dances, but then
I'll come right back to you, I
promise!
FORDFOCUSMAN
Gosh, you're popular.
NARRATOR
I gave him five quick kisses on his
cheek to perk him up before
leaving. I go over to DeliveryMan,
say hi, and as expected from his
past behavior he wanted to get
right down to business. We all have
our quirks, many we keep hidden,
other are right out there for all
to see. DeliveryMan shaves the
sides of his head with no
sideburns. The hair on top of his
head doesn't quite look real, so I
try not to touch it. Moving down,
you know how most people tie their
boots with a bow at the top, well
this guy ties them at the bottom to
his ankles. He's socially awkward,
so I don't bring any of this up.
Besides the three dances each time
he comes in he always asks me to
meet him outside of the club. I
never encourage him, but he keeps
finding cute ways to try again and
again.
DELIVERYMAN
You know, one of these days I'm
going to give you my number!
AMY
Oh...you're so silly.
NARRATOR
I have to keep things light, not
wanting to burn any bridges to a
regular customer, but maintaining
that attitude takes a toll. What I
really want to say to him is,
'Don't you get it asshole, I'm not
interested and shove the tip of my
six-inch stiletto right up his ass.
Yeah, strippers can get really
pissed off, so beware when you walk
into a gentlemen's club. Finished
with him, I get back to
FordFocusMan and we chat.
FORDFOCUSMAN
I'm pretty stoked, the auto show is
coming up and I'll be able to get a
good look at the new Ford Focus.
Amy sits with a possible client, but he is not into her. Amy
is a touch aggrivated that he preferred the company of
another dancer.
NARRATOR
I know what you're thinking, but
he's really very sweet. We do a few
dances and he leaves. Next, a well
dressed businessman comes in, he's
sitting one seat over from me on a
slow day so I assumed he might be
interested. On the other hand I see
him leering up one of the younger
Latina girls who oozed just enough
naughty to captivate him. I start
chatting him up, but soon realize
he's not into me, so I excuse
myself. Now, that doesn't happen to
me often, so I'm a little put
off...but I can take it...I'm a big
girl and walk away. I tell him I'll
stop back in a while, but knew he
was a dry well. The minute I left
the dancer he was interested in
came right over. Now I realize I'm
pissed and angry...I guess that
means I'm spoiled and yes, I know
it. With all the regulars I have
who come in and wait for me, I can
forget what the other girls go
through. I was mentioning all this
to DJ'sWoma, a great girl, someone
I can talk to. HouseMom was
listening.
HOUSEMOM
Oh, you, a spoiled little
brat...well, you work really hard
to keep your regulars happy, I know
it, everyone here knows it.
AMY
That I do...that I do, and it's not
easy because no matter how I'm
feeling I have to make them feel
good about themselves while they're
with me.
NARRATOR
I'd learned the hard way that it
was the sex that held their
interest, week after week, month
after month, coming back to me time
after time. Just then,
AccidentalTerrorist walks in,
that's right, the guy from the
other day who fucked with me about
not being able to stay.
ACCIDENTALTERRORIST
I'm so happy you're here and
available today. When I left the
other day all I could think about
was getting back her to you to
today I made sure I can stay...if
you're free...are you free?
AMY
Why yes, absolutely...I'm all
yours!
NARRATOR
At times this job is like hooking a
ten-foot marlin, a trophy fish,
that's fine but now you have to
reel in the beast and the powerful
prize is not going to give up
without a fight.
AccidentalTerrorist was a constant
struggle to be with, to maneuver,
and one false move and he'd throw
the hook, but I've somehow managed
to set the hook into his vulnerable
psyche.
ACCIDENTALTERRORIST
I'm so sorry for what happened, are
we good, is all forgiven?
NARRATOR
I was talking with HouseMom while
setting up a VIP for him.
AMY
Yeah, he's behaving today and even
apologized for having to leave
yesterday, so I'm bad, he wasn't
throwing a fit so strike the bitch
banter the other day, though we
both know he's pulled that shit on
jme for real before...
NARRATOR
Right about then
QuintessentialBlond joined us. Born
Barbie-Doll beautiful with awesome
natural boobs, she's also quite
charming and sweet. We had a VIP
threesome history with
AccidentalTerrorist, she was
available, he was in a good mood,
so I brought it up.
AMY
Well...she's here today, you want
to get crazy?
ACCIDENTALTERRORIST
You know, I'm just in that kind of
mood.
AMY
You are spunky today, aren't
you...let me go and s peak with
her.
Amy walks out of the ladies room with QuinessentialBlond,
they find AccidentalTerrorist and TOGETHER walk to the VIP
area and soon they are in the midst of their VIP play time.
NARRATOR
I caught up with her in the ladies'
room, she was delighted at the
prospect of a three-VIP session. It
went well, we sipped on a few
drinks and a good time was had by
all. I suppose I did her a favor,
but it boiled down to just good
business, though she was on a short
list of dancers who just might
qualify to become a close friend,
but in and out of the club. So, the
stripper gods salvaged what looked
like it might have been a shitty
day. I stopped at TARGET to pick up
some gifts for my folks, and what's
up with that...they should be
giving me thank-you gifts for what
I'm about to do for them.
INT. TARGET - EVENING
Amy is in the check-out lane, hands the clerk a 50, and they
talk because the clerk didn't have CHANGE.
CHECKOUT CLERK
I don't have change, but I cold
give you 30 singles.
AMY
Oh...all 30 for me...thanks!
CHECKOUT CLERK
Sure...I can give them to you, but
if you get home with 30 singles
your significant other just might
think you had a spicy little side
job.
AMY
Side job...yeah...not a bad idea.
Amy is seen on stage, with DOLLAR BILLS from appreciative
fans RAINING DOWN as she dances. When her stage show ends
Amy conceals a slight limp as she navigates her tip walk.
Amy stops to adjust her shoes which are killing her FEET.
NARRATOR
What I do is not my side job, it's
what I do full-time for a living
and just so you know getting all
those singles is not easy, people.
Admittedly, some days when I'm in a
groove the cash just seems to fall
from the sky like manna from
heaven. On stage I twirl around,
kick high, gyrate on the pole,
thrust powerfully in and out and
work hard to make it all look
effortless and sexy even though my
body is in pain most of the time.
Like a thoroughbred, one false
step, a twisted ankle, a strained
knee, and a career can end in the
snap of a second. Even a long tip
walk can be hell on feet trapped in
stripper platforms that rival
Japanese foot binding on the
torture-your-tootsies scale. And on
the sexy front, some guys you feel
like flashing by pulling on your
G-string, while others you can't
fucking stand...you'd sooner beat
them bloody rather than let them
even get a glimpse of your
privates. I suppose because I knew
I was headed north I certainly
didn't feel sexy or even want to
talk to anyone. This job is not
easy...and when I have a bad day
it's a bad bad day. Experience has
taught me, though, that over time
the good usually outweighs the bad
and so you trudge on through.
EXT. AMY'S MAN'S CABIN UP NORTH
Having driven up on Friday night, Amy and her man pull in
and park in front of his CABIN.
NARRATOR
It was four long hours and I needed
to be the one driving to help clear
my head.
INT. AMY'S PARENTS HOME
Amy and her man pull into the driveway, park, ring the
doorbell, and enter her parents home, sit down and exchange
pleasantries.
NARRATOR
I could see they were both trying
to get me alone, so I knew I had to
take charge by getting my mother by
herself first.
AMY'S MOTHER
I don't know what's wrong with your
father, he seems to have lost his
ambition.
Amy sits down at the table for dinner and they pray. Later
Amy gets hermother in the spare bedroom.
NARRATOR
As she spoke, I knew she had her
own problems dealing with chronic
fatigue and incapacitating
migraines. I sat down with them for
lunch and tolerated a prayer,
didn't close my eyes, didn't fold
my hands before joining in with a
tentative 'Amen' after which I got
my mother alone in the spare
bedroom. She surprised me by
opening up about her relationship
with my father and even their sex
life--too much information. Again I
had to steer the conversation to
finances. It took all my club
listening skills to manage this
difficult discussion. My father
noticed her improvement.
AMY'S FATHER
Whatever you said to her, it really
worked!
AMY
Yeah, well Dad, I kinda have a
little side business providing
therapy for people. They tell me
their problems, I listen and help
them and help them work things out.
AMY'S FATHER
Really...well, that's great...just
great.
NARRATOR
Approval from my father...that
doesn't happen often and it was
nice to hear...every daughter wants
that, needs that, right? And about
my therapy skills, I learned over
time they were responsible for most
of my club customer loyalty.
Getting my father alone and sharing
openly was a different matter. I
got him into my Silverado, we
headed into town to pick up some
firewood and that gave us a chance
to talk.
AMY'S FATHER
This is a bad economy for any small
business.
NARRATOR
His overall attitude sucked...that
life sucks and there isn't much
anyone can do about it. The fact of
the matter as a trust-fund baby
he'd been spoiled, lots of money
handed to him that he didn't have
to work for. That certainly wasn't
my story. I've been working to
support myself since I was 14.
AMY'S FATHER
Things have gotten to the point
where our bills exceed our income,
so we were planning to move to an
apartment and we're down to a few
hundred dollars in our bank
account.
NARRATOR
For them it was only a difference
of a couple of thousand dollars a
month, a sum I could earn in a good
day or two at the club.
AMY
I see...now, I'll be helping you
with some of your bills, but you
have to look into whatever state
assistance is available and your
hearing aid business, don't give up
on it, start promoting and or look
for a different regular job. I'll
be back in the spring. Try not to
worry...we'll work everything out.
NARRATOR
With that my man and I soon left
and driving home my memories were
fixed on my past working life.
INT. DOG GROOMING BUSINESS - DAY
Amy at 14 left home and is seen working for room and board
as a DOG GROOMER. Then later at a daycare center, and
finally after a scene where she says I do, Amy is seen in a
TRAILER serving up dinner for her husband and later on a
cleaning crew inside a house. Next a scene in DIVORCE COURT,
followed by Amy dressed up as a SHOT GIRL at a genglemen's
club.
NARRATOR
The lady who took me in and trained
me also treated me like shit, so I
did daycare after than before
marrying some jackass when I was 19
just to get out of Dodge. Yes, I
was hoping to finally have found
someone who would take care of me.
Without a formal education I
couldn't be sure how on earth I
would ever be able to make a
living. My mother-in-law had a
cleaning business so I did that for
a while. It turned out he was a
spoiled brat video-game obsessed
bastard,I left him and on my own I
ended up as a Shot Girl at a
gentlemen's club. When the boss
tried to pressure me for sex, I
split there, found a better
club,found the stage, and the rest
as they say is Amy-Ford history.
While up north this trip I had a
chance to spend some quality time
with my grandmother.
INT. AMY'S GRANDMOTHER'S HOME
Amy is sitting in the den with her grandmother discussing
family affairs.
AMY'S GRANDMOTHER
Your father finally came to a
Kingdom Hall meeting, so he's
really trying.
AMY
But don't you see, that religion is
part of their problem...they've
been given an excuse not to worry
about the future, not to save, not
to raise their family properly, and
in my case not to make sure I had
an education...and you wonder why I
don't rush back to rejoin the
church.
NARRATOR
While we talked I held her small,
frail hand, trying not to squeeze
too hard, praying she would
understand where I was coming from.
I'd been shunned by her church and
yet still wanted her forgiveness.
AMY
I'm so sorry to have disappointed
you, I wanted so much for you to be
proud of me, to be at least the one
person in the family you could be
proud of.
AMY'S GRANDMOTHER
You're so special, I do understand,
and I know I should have done more
to help you when you left your
parents.
AMY
You know what, my life hasn't been
easy but I learned how to work and
work hard and today it's paying off
for me.
During a quiet drive home Amy texts her friend only to learn
that she wishes she were dead. Right after seeing the text
Amy breaks down.
NARRATOR
After reliving the time spent with
my grandmother during the quiet
drive home it hit me, it was a
rough goddamned weekend, then, more
harsh reality when I texted my dear
friend to which she replied, 'I
pretty much would like to die right
now...how was your trip? I burst
into tears and my man noticed.
AMY'S MAN
Should I pull over...
AMY
No...just keep driving.
NARRATOR
A few more chat texts and I called,
she wasn't herself and her voice
was weak. I found out she was
staying with her mother and
stepfather, that the chemo wasn't
going well, that she was sleeping
all the time.
INT. AMY'S CLUB - DAY SHIFT
The rough weekend behind her, Amy is back at the club, but
the week had not been going well financially. Finally, a
regular walks in and Amy goes to sit with him.
NARRATOR
This is the only good day I've had
this week at the club, considering
the extra financial burden I took
on over the weekend, it's been
painfully slow, not only for me but
for all the girls. Finally, one of
my VIP reguolars, BullFrogMan came
in, I shared some of what's been
going on with me. It's a fine line
to walk at the club, I don't want
to sound like I wining, but an
extra let-me-help-you-out tip
couldn't hurt. After my first stage
set we got down to business.
BULLFROGMAN
Think you can stand me for an hour?
NARRATOR
I smiled and seriously wanted to
tear up. We did an hour VIP and he
tipped me a hundred. When I
realized he usually tips me a 50 I
knew he was going above and beyond
generous with me. He got an extra
big hug on the way out and hugged
me back in a genuine sign of
affection for me.
INT. AMY'S CLUB - SITTING AT THE BAR
It's still slow at the club, Amy is passing the time trying
to figure out all the new features on her iPhone. Waves of
concern furrow her brow as she tries to contact her friend
who is dying.
AMY
When would be a good time for me to
stop by?
FRIEND'S MOTHER
You know, she's not well enough to
have visitors right now.
AMY
You know, she doesn't have to sing
and dance for me, even if she's
sleeping I can just sit with her.
FRIEND'S MOTHER
She's had two doctor's appointments
today and really needs her rest,
but you can come up tomorrow.
NARRATOR
I thankfully agreed and started
planning what I might bring. The
next day was still slow at the club
so I cleared it with HouseMom to
leave early to visit my friend.
INT.FRIEND'S MOTHER'S HOME
Amy pulls up in front of her friend's MOTHER'S HOME, gets
out of the car, opens the trunk and gathers a couple of bags
of gifts, walks up to the front door, rings the buzzer and
is let in.
STEPFATHER
She's in the living room doing her
Facebook thing.
NARRATOR
I knelt down beside her chair,
reached over, and gave her a big
hug, all while trying to stay
upbeat as a way to keep my sadness
from becoming overwhelming. What
she was dealing with horrified me.
Every now and then she would get a
tissue to spit up fluids from the
chemotherapy soars in her mouth.
Then, a lighter moment when her
mother brought her some tea and
left the room.
AMY'S FRIEND
Yeah...mom's making me pot tea, now
isn't that just too col!
NARRATOR
Sadly, the muffled voice I heard
didn't even sound like her.
AMY'S FRIEND
Anyway, other than family I wanted
you to know the doctor said I have
two weeks because my LIVER is full
of CANCER and there's nothing they
can do.
AMY
...okay...okay then...
NARRATOR
What could I say...for her sake I
was trying desperately not to cry.
She was in a fog created by all the
powerful medications, not
processing clearly, and I could see
she was trying to type me a
Facebook message.
AMY
I'm right here...please, just talk
to me.
NARRATOR
Pretty much out of it she ignored
me and kept on typing. It was her
nature, though, bold, headstrong,
and determined and I'd always
admired her for those very
qualities. Her hair was cut short
in preparation for the chemo. Her
stretched thin skin showed the
telltale yellow hue of jaundice
that accompanies liver failure. Now
fully aware of her suffering, I
tried not to keep her talking.
AMY
Well, I finally made a waxing
appointment.
AMY'S FRIEND
Oh no...don't go to the other girl,
she's bad, she'll rip you.
AMY
Honey...no...I'm not going back
there...
NARRATOR
I couldn't go back to the salon
where we first me...it would just
be too hard. Needing that service
for work I couldn't put it off any
longer. When she squeezed my hand
as a gesture of acceptance I lost
it.
AMY
I love you so much...I can't tell
you how much you mean to me, how
much our friendship has meant to
me.
NARRATOR
Now realizing that I was probably
doing more harm than good,I left to
wipe away my tears before returning
to sit with her a while longer as
the TV droned in the background.
I'd reached the point where I'd
gone blank inside and just didn't
know what to say, but then
realizing she only had two weeks
left, I didn't want to leave.
AMY'S FRIEND
Ma...help me up.
Amy's sick friend puts down her laptop, pulls off the
blankets, hands Amy her pillows, and her mother comes to
help her stand up.
NARRATOR
She put the laptop down, sloughed
off the blankets, and handed me the
pillows that were propping her up.
She'd lost so much weight. Helped
out of her chair her mother hooked
under her arms and lifted her up.
Standing there a minute she started
walking toward me.
AMY'S FRIEND
I'm going to walk you out...you
need to go.
AMY
Sure...love you...see you tomorrow,
then.
NARRATOR
I shut the door behind me but
didn't make it half way to my car
before breaking down again. The
sadness was crushing and I almost
dropped to my knees. My sweet sweet
friend, someone I'd been closer to
than any other, she never wronged
me, had always been good to me,
once elegant, been vibrant, and
beautiful, she was now broken and
dying.
INT. NEW COSMETOLOGIST OFFICE
Amy is reluctantly attending an appointment for a waxing
with her new cosmetologist as she reluctantly enters the
salon to begin the procedure.
NARRATOR
I could barely believe what was
happening to me, much less be able
to follow along with her small
talk. I did share my sad story but
soon realized that no one else can
feel your personal pain and I'm
sure she didn't mean to be
insensitive, but when I left she
said, 'Have a good weekend.' While
under the dryer after a haircut I
got a call from my friend's mother.
AMY'S FRIEND'S MOTHER
I'm afraid this just isn't a good
time to come by, she's been
sleeping for hours and is pretty
much unresponsive and I don't want
you to get all those groceries if,
you know, she won't be needing
them.
NARRATOR
Of course I agreed, but devastated
once again I broke down and had to
pull the Silverado off the freeway
over to avoid an accident
AMY'S FRIEND'S MOTHER
How about this, if she wakes up
I'll call you right away and you
can come by.
NARRATOR
I turned around and drove home. The
afternoon passed slowly, then, the
phone rang...she was gone.
THE END OF SHAVE SLOWLY LIMITED TV SERIES EPISODE #05
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