Shave Slowly - Limited TV Series - Episode #03

 



          INT.CHICAGO LOOP - SILVERSMITH HOTEL RESTAURANT - EVENING


          Amy and LatteGirl are settled into a quiet corner of the

          hotel RESTAURANT cutting into STEAKS and sipping wine.


                              NARRATOR

                    December raced by, an emotional

                    roller coaster ride from start to

                    finish. My best friend at the club,

                    LATTEGIRL, had a birthday coming up

                    and to celebrate we headed for a

                    girls' weekend in the Chicago Loop.

                    I treated her to dinner at the

                    5-Star Silversmith Hotel where we

                    were staying--tenderloins washed

                    down with a $200 bottle of Cru

                    Bourgeois.


          INT.SILVERSMITH HOTEL SPA - EVENING


          Amy and LatteGirl are lounging at the hotel spa being given

          massages and pedicures.


                              NARRATOR

                    After dinner we relaxed with a spa

                    session where we were pampered with

                    massages and pedicures. I followed

                    that up by giving her a pair of

                    PEARL EARRINGS, courtesy of my

                    wonderful LunchGuy whose business

                    involved jewelry, which she showed

                    off when we hit the hotel nightclub

                    for some dancing until we both

                    dropped from exhaustion.


          INT.SILVERSMITH HOTEL ROOM


          The two best friends were chilling in their opulent hotel

          room when Amy notices her phone vibrating. It is a call from

          her GRANDMOTHER.


                              NARRATOR

                    Because of our serious religious

                    differences I am not close to my

                    grandmother, at least while I'm on

                    the JW's 10 most wanted list, but

                    when she called I knew something

                    important was up. After listening

                    to the message, no one had died, so

                    I didn't call back right away. We

                    had been close, I'd lived with her

                    as a child, but I figured the call

                    was about some bullshit family

                    business. Our weekend in Chicago

                    over, we hit the road during which

                    I called my grandmother.


          INT. AMY'S CAR


          While driving home Amy calls her grandmother who starts

          crying right away.


                              GRANDMOTHER

                    Hello, Amy, hello...thank you for

                    calling back.


                              AMY

                    Of course, so you didn't say much

                    in the message you left...what's

                    going on?


                              GRANDMOTHER

                    I'm afraid your mother and father

                    are about to lose their home. I've

                    already loaned them all that I can

                    so unless you can help they'll have

                    to sell their house and move into a

                    flat somewhere.


                              NARRATOR

                    My father was a trust fund baby,

                    was given money whenever he needed

                    it, but that did not mean he lived

                    a lavish life style, Jehovah's

                    Witnesses, like the Amish and other

                    religious sects believed in working

                    hard,and he did try though

                    circumstances often seemed to get

                    the best of him. Hanging up with my

                    grandmother, I downed a couple

                    glasses of wine and watched some of

                    the film, STILETTO, to gird up my

                    fearless Taylor Thorn alter ego,

                    before calling my parents. The

                    early small talk was almost

                    unbearable---fucking bla bla bla,

                    until I finally changed the

                    subject.


                              AMY

                    I understand you guys are going

                    through some financial

                    difficulties. I care about you, I

                    always want you to have a roof over

                    your heads, and I want to help.


          Her parents were both listening in and suddenly got quiet,

          uncomfortable having to admit they were having serious

          financial problems.


                              NARRATOR

                    My father tried to explain away his

                    business failures, blaming the

                    downturn in the economy.


                              AMY

                    Everyone has setbacks, but at this

                    time in your lives you should be

                    looking forward to a comfortable

                    retirement and not worried about

                    losing your home.


                              NARRATOR

                    For me their silence was an

                    unforgettable and mumental

                    turn-the-tables moment when they

                    finally said, "Thank you...okay

                    then...thank you."


                              AMY

                    So...get all the paperwork

                    together, we'll go over it and

                    decide how to move forward by you

                    sending me the most pressing bills

                    first.


                              NARRATOR

                    An awkward silence was building, so

                    much so that I knew we hadn't quite

                    come to the understanding I was

                    hoping for.


                              AMY'S MOTHER

                    Well, you know I usually take care

                    of all the bills, so would you send

                    us the money instead of us sending

                    you the bills?


                              NARRATOR

                    Now, that wasn't going to happen. I

                    knew my mother was a total control

                    freak, a trait I recognized because

                    I was the same way, and yet I knew

                    to put my foot down.


                              AMY

                    Let's face it, the way you've been

                    handling money is at the root of

                    your financial problems right now,

                    so, no, I need you to work with me

                    right now.


          More silence on the other end of the phone, and more tension

          building.


                              NARRATOR

                    Sunday was a blur of tangled mixed

                    emotions as I prepared myself to

                    face Monday at the club. Now, more

                    than ever I needed the money.


          INT. AMY'C SLUB - DAY SHIFT


          Amy drags herself into the club, looking like she's carrying

          the weight of the world on her shoulders. may is breaking a

          norm and drinking at the club to get drunk.


                              NARRATOR

                    First up was my sweet LawyerMan. He

                    saw I was drinking a glass a wine

                    which was breaking one of my

                    norms--no to drink while working at

                    the club. As I shared my family

                    problems hoping for his

                    professional advice there was such

                    a look of empathetic understanding

                    as we sipped our wine. After two

                    VIPs with him, my day stalled. On

                    to Tuesday. FuzzyWuzzy got things

                    off to a good start but with some

                    distressing news.


          INT. AMY'S CLUB - TUESDAY - DAY SHIFT


                              FUZZYWUZZY

                    I wanted to let you know that my

                    wife will be retiring soon which

                    means I won't be able to get to the

                    club as often as I'd like.


                              NARRATOR

                    He was depressed, I was depressed

                    and even broke down crying as we

                    shared our tales of woe. After a

                    couple of VIPs I bid him farewell.


                              AMY

                    Now...now I'll be seeing you soon

                    enough, okay.


          He looks at Amy with those puppy-dog eyes, squeezed her

          harder than ever before, and she sent him on his way. Amy

          walks into the lady's bathroom and breaks down in private.


          INT. AMY'S MOTHER-IN-LAW'S HOME


          Amy drives up to her mother-in-law's home, parks out front,

          grabs some wrapped gifts, walks up the stairs to the front

          door, rings the bell and is walks into the house.


                              NARRATOR

                    The next day involved a much

                    appreciated change of pace as I was

                    about to attend my mother-in-law's

                    retirement party--one family

                    comfortable in retirement while my

                    family was struggling. The conflict

                    had me craving a drink...hard

                    liquor would have been too much,

                    but when my mother-in-low ordered a

                    glass of wine, I felt comfortable

                    ordering one as well, I held up the

                    glass and we all toasted to her

                    retirement. The next day at the

                    club got started when my JailerMan

                    came in first.


          INT. AMY'S CLUB - WEDNESDAY - DAY SHIFT


          Amy walks JAILERMAN into the VIP area, spends time to talk

          during his lap dance, he leaves and Amy's LAWYERMAN walks

          into the club.


                              NARRATOR

                    He only had time for VIP quickie

                    sandwiched between court hearings.

                    After sharing some of my family

                    issues I was moved at how so many

                    of my regulars are able to look

                    past my revealing bra and sheer

                    thong to care about what's going on

                    inside.


          As LawyerMan leaves the club regular RACECARGUY walks in

          presenting a logistics problem.


                              NARRATOR

                    RaceCarGuy was always good for at

                    least a 2-VIP pop plus a generous

                    tip, but I was just headed into a

                    VIP with another guy when I saw him

                    enter the club. Not wanting this

                    big-bucks blue fin tuna to get away

                    I grabbed him and gave him a kiss

                    on the cheek.


                              AMY

                    I'm going to be tied up for about a

                    half hour, if you wouldn't mind

                    waiting.


                              RACECARGUY

                    That works for me.


                              NARRATOR

                    Knowing his patterns, I figured he

                    would wait...and he did. The next

                    day I'd been relaxing at the bar

                    when my MANFROMJAPAN came in, a

                    sweet guy but oh so small. Standing

                    next to him in my heels I looked

                    like the Japanese version of

                    Pinnocchio. Sitting at the bar he'd

                    squeezed my hand and touched my

                    knee.


          Amy makes her way to the stage, does her show, and returns

          to her client.


                              MANFROMJAPAN

                    Okay, we go now?


                              NARRATOR

                    I noticed him focused on my every

                    stage move and sensed he was pretty

                    nervous about the upcoming VIP

                    session. When we got into the room

                    he handed me a pretty little pink

                    box with a Victoria's Secret gift

                    card inside.


                              MANFROMJAPAN

                    I wanted for you something sexy,

                    but not know your size.


                              NARRATOR

                    So thoughtful...we hugged, he

                    smiled, kissed me on the cheek, and

                    after the VIP we sat around a

                    while. This day over, I was not

                    looking forward to tomorrow.


          INT. DENTIST OFFICE - DAY


          Amy walks into her dentist office, sits down to wait, and is

          escorted into another room for the procedure during which

          the dentist grinds on the tooth before destroying the nerve.

          At the end of the procedure the secretary hands Amy the

          bill.


                              NARRATOR

                    I was scared and shaking, while

                    insisting on extra shots of

                    Novocain while he shaped my bad

                    tooth, boring an opening to the

                    nerve. And the bill, over $1,000,

                    added to my mounting financial

                    pressure to help my parents...


          INT. AMY'S CLUB - DAY SHIFT


          Amy is sitting at the bar when one of her regulars walks in.

          She goes over to him, gives him a hug, and along with

          BLONDBOMBSHELL he buys them a round of drinks.


                              AMY

                    I think today is a good day for a

                    three-way...what do you say...a hot

                    blond with great tits and a hot

                    brunette with a great ass. Let's

                    all go to VIP and play!


                              ACCIDENTALTERRORIST

                    Now, that's the best idea I've

                    heard in a long time!


          The threesome walks into the VIP room and the erotic fun

          begins, the girls taking turns dancing for the client.


                              NARRATOR

                    We loped off to do three VIPs.

                    Doing a double is a little awkward,

                    you have to work out where everyone

                    is going to be inside the small VIP

                    area, then you have to make sure

                    each dancer has enough time dancing

                    for the customers. We figured it

                    all out, had a great time, and sat

                    with him afterward until he sobered

                    up so he could drive home safely.


                              AMY

                    Good work, girl...good work.


                              BLONDBOMBSHELL

                    Oh...yes...well, thank you, that

                    was so awesome.


                              NARRATOR

                    Needing cash for a trip she was

                    planning, and with another dentist

                    appointment coming up for me,

                    things worked out for all of us.


          EXT. AMY'S DENTIST OFFICE - DAY


          Amy walks out of the dentist office, this time her mouth

          numb from the Novocain. Unable to go to the club in that

          condition, Amy is seen buying Christmas presents at the

          mall. At a food court she is seen slurping soup and

          dribbling at not being able to control her lips.


          INT. AMY'S HOME


          Christmas morning, Amy is with her man and his two-year-old

          son with SPECIAL NEEDS who temporarily looses it over being

          frustrated trying to open a present. Then, Amy opens an

          expensive bowl gift from her mother.


                              NARRATOR

                    Despite the boy's temper tantrum,

                    the rest of Christmas went well

                    although I had to hold back tears

                    when opening my mother's gift,

                    which I knew was now beyond her

                    means. The entire month was one

                    tsunami of raging emotional

                    turbulence coming at me from all

                    sides, but the month and the year

                    would soon pass a new year and a

                    new beginning, but before turning

                    the page I woke up after a draining

                    nightmare.


          INT. AMY'S HOME BEDROOM - NIGHTTIME


          Amy is tossing and turning while in the midst of a troubling

          NIGHTMARE unfolds. Amy is sitting with her grandmother in a

          Kingdom Hall meeting.


                              NARRATOR

                    This girl dreams in Technicolor and

                    3D which makes nightmares all the

                    worse. I was attending a Kingdom

                    Hall meeting with my grandmother

                    whose leaning over me whispering

                    about a girls' day she's planning,

                    and she specifically mentions her

                    friend has to lie about a dentist

                    appointment in order to spend an

                    afternoon with my grandmother.

                    Well, that stung, because I'd

                    always wanted to do just that,

                    spend a fun day together and yet it

                    never seemed to happen. Back to the

                    dream, two rows in front of us was

                    a young couple, a fairly tall guy

                    with a stylishly dressed girl with

                    bad teeth, not great hair, but a

                    pretty face, I thought. I'm talking

                    to my grandmother when she shoots

                    me a shush look. My grandmother

                    makes a face as to say ignore her,

                    she's a bitch, so I do. First the

                    guy, then the girl turn around

                    again to shush us. Now I'm pissed,

                    lean forward, and put my arms on

                    the chair in front of me, glaring

                    the whisper at them, 'is there a

                    problem'. He turns, then she turns

                    sitting straight up in her chair,

                    but turned back and didn't bother

                    us after that. Meeting over, I

                    sashayed up to her, offer my hand,

                    and say, 'Hi, I'm Amy, I'm Lois's

                    daughter.' I'm still holding onto

                    her hand, and tightening my grip as

                    I lean in to say, 'I suggest you

                    get off of that high horse of yours

                    and don't count on this man of

                    yours to save you, I mean look at

                    the other motherfuckers around

                    here...my man could take them all

                    on...he carries a mean angry chip

                    on his shoulder should anyone upset

                    me or my family. In the future I

                    suggest you be a sweet as peach pie

                    to my grandmother. If I hear

                    otherwise there will be hell to pay

                    and I'll be right there to help

                    him, that's right, I'll scratch

                    that pretty right off your

                    face...okay, princess, do I make

                    myself crystal clear. I lean in

                    closer waiting for a reaction.

                    Stunned into silence I end

                    with...'just nod your head if you

                    can't speak darlin.' She tries to

                    manage a wry smile, but only nods.

                    I get closer, wrap my arms around

                    her in what looks like a friendly

                    hug, but instead I squeeze the air

                    out of her lungs and say, 'Now fuck

                    off bitch,' and walk away. Walking

                    back to my grandmother, she asked,

                    'What did you say to her?' I just

                    smiled...and that was the end of

                    the dream. 


          INT. AMY'S HOME - AFTERNOON


          The family is in the living room with the tree opening

          presents, then, with no kids around Amy and her man enjoy

          some love-making privacy, then, out for brunch. Not ready to

          face the club, Amy spends a workday with LunchGuy. The meet

          in a lakeside parking lot, Amy parks her car and gets in

          with LunchGuy.


          INT. LUNCHGUY'S CAR


          Amy is opening a present he gave her, something he'd made

          with his own two hands. He drives Amy to Whole Foods and

          they shop the aisles.


                              NARRATOR

                    He'd given me many expensive gifts,

                    but this mail holder was crafted in

                    his own wood shop. He's such a

                    darling and I'm so proud of him.

                    Granted, it was something more like

                    a father would give a

                    daughter--yes, our relationship is

                    complicated, but good for both of

                    us. At Whole Foods he puts

                    expensive organic food in my cart,

                    reminding me to eat better. I knew

                    he was also going to give me our

                    usual several hundred dollar fee

                    and thinking about money, I

                    couldn't believe how much I made

                    this month, but I guess I earned

                    every penny. Many of my regulars

                    come in burdened with frustrations

                    and I do my best to take their

                    minds off their problems for an

                    important hour or so.


                              LUNCHGUY

                    You know I'm here for you,

                    kid...I'm here for you and you know

                    how I feel about you...I wish you

                    were my daughter.


                              NARRATOR

                    Over a sushi lunch he says that to

                    me. I knew he had two actual

                    daughters, but that they both were

                    dealing with all kinds of problems,

                    but that's life, right? You can't

                    pick your parents and as a parent

                    you can't really control what your

                    children will be like when they

                    grow up. He continues to love me

                    unconditionally and has been a big

                    help in dealing with my parents'

                    problems, something he'd already

                    had to struggle with. No matter

                    what you're going through, someone

                    else has already been there. Then,

                    we got to talking about my dream

                    for the future, to have a farm and

                    raise cattle.


                              AMY

                    So, when I get my farm operational

                    will you buy my first Scottish

                    Highland cow?


                              LUNCHGUY

                    You mean your first four or five

                    head?


                              NARRATOR

                    And he went there knowing that such

                    a commitment would involve

                    thousands of dollars.


                              AMY

                    Yeah, that would be even

                    better...that would be awesome!


          Amy shows LunchGuy a CARD and we see it.


                              NARRATOR

                    Before parting I gave him a

                    Christmas card on which I wrote,

                    'You mean more to me than I think

                    you'll ever know.' to which he

                    replied, 'I think...I know I feel

                    the exact same way." My time with

                    LunchGuy over,in a few hours my

                    time struggling with the current

                    year would also be over and I was

                    looking forward to ushering in a

                    new year full of promise.

                    


                              

                    


          


          


          

                    


                              

                    

                     

                    


                              

                    



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